Sunday, January 23, 2011

Things That Make America Great

#2. The Lincoln assassination.

Monday, January 17, 2011


My latest writing project, henceforth called "Katabasis", will be slightly delayed. Mostly because I'm kind of lazy, I need to write some cover letters and other things. But I can give you a run down: it's an Inferno-type story. It should be around 10 pages in total. It follows the descent of a man to the depths of Hell where he will be assigned a dismal clerical job with Hitler as his supervisor. Sounds like fun, right?

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Wikipedia to Grant Degrees

San Francisco, CA - Online free encyclopedia giant Wikipedia announced Friday that it would begin granting the following degrees in May 2011: Bachelor of Arts, Bachelor of Science, and various associate degrees. Wikipedia co-founder Larry Sanger spoke at a press conference in downtown San Francisco, saying:

"It makes sense that the world's first free online encyclopedia offer the world's first free online diploma. Wikipedia has grown through mammoth proportions in the past decade and in celebration of our 10th anniversary, we will allow matriculation starting January 18th, 2011, for the first semester. From the encyclopedia that anyone can edit comes the degree that anyone can earn. This is a great moment for us and the world."

Microsoft founder, philanthropist, and collegiate education reform activist Bill Gates lauded the announcement. "This is a momentous day for the world," Mr. Gates said at the press conference. Detailing the plan, Mr. Gates told us that test materials will be made and distributed through a new Microsoft application "TestMeWiki" for download at a retail price to be determined. "You download this app and take a test on whatever subject you want. Once you've passed a certain number of tests in one field, a printable PDF degree will be e-mailed to you. The whole system is built on the core concepts of a decentralized learning environment and the greening of education. It is remarkable." When asked about the irony of paying for the app to free education, Gates responded: "Don't worry, it'll get pirated."

Degrees in such fields as mathematics, physics, economics, English literature, and linguistics are expected to come online on January 18th, with more to follow in the subsequent weeks. Additionally, Sanger noted in his speech that any student that writes twenty Wikipedia articles will be granted a journalism degree.

What's next, we ask. "After a core curriculum is established, we will go after other collegiate staples. The largest contributor to Wikipedia will be President of the Wikipedia Finance Club and we want to partner up with ESPN to start offering sports through fantasy leagues. We're going after the Ivys on this one."

J. Moulton

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Coming attractions

"Catabasis" should hopefully be ready the end of the week. That is, if it doesn't get too out of control. See ya then!