Tuesday, June 7, 2011

UPDATE: FAT GIRL DOESN'T LIKE BBQ

Richmond, VA - Speaking before a body of colleagues and peers, Lauren Michaels, a Richmond-area administrative assistant and office 'fat girl' at BB&T Investments, stated shockingly: "I don't like barbeque." With a look of honesty in her brow, Michaels went on to explain to stunned witnesses how she likes "the sauce" but offered no real explanation to her motives. Universally recognized by her co-workers as Poor White Trash (PWT), many present at the event thought they had her totally pegged from the beginning.

"She was so inarticulate," one witness stated. "Everyone loves barbeque; especially fat people," said another.

When asked about her position, she avoided our questions of preference, taste, and reason, but defended herself with the caveat: "I still love chicken nuggets."

- J. Moulton

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